Update to myself.. hah

2011..... Why hello....

2010.... wasn't so great academic wise.. ^^;; so goodbye..

I have good news!! After so much depression/anxiety from school!!! I decided to change my major FINALLY. To something that actually interests me. I originally was going for General Science with Physicians assistant option. Stuff is hard!! And I really didn't like my advisor... she was not so nice... After an advisor meeting with her, came out super depressed about myself. Change to undeclared winter term.. Loved that advisor oh my gosh.. advisor meeting with her I came out quite happy... Then *drum rolls* tada!! you're looking at an applied arts student!! going for graphic design option~...

It sounds quite scary, because graphic design is really really(x9999) hard to get into they only accept.. I believe 20 stupids out of the 40 that signed up for the portfolio review class. And if you don't get accepted you have to try again NEXT FALL... :| That's the only scary thing... I mean If I don't get it junior year... then I have to try senior year which means I might need to do 1 more year of college. To me. I don't mind but my parents really don't want that.. Since they were apprehensive about me changing to an art degree in the first place.

They told me that I should do something that interests me. Well here it is.. Scary as hell.. Ah late for class... *skips out*

I wanna cry ;__________;

This totally sucks! I thought next year would be really fun. But then I found out that my friend has to live at the sorority house next year for 2 years! I mean I'm happy for her that she got back in and all. Now I have to room with someone I don't even know!! And I don't know what they are like and It was a total surprise to me with the roommate that I had this year. And it didn't end well on my end, it was a like 75% dislike. e________e hate that bitch, but she can be cool sometimes... SOMETIMES..

Now I just wanna cry! Since she's not going to live in the dorms, I wanna move out and find an apartment. BUT! The cancellation fee is ridiculous! I mean why can't we cancel it when we haven't even moved in? That means! A room for the other people. It's going to be $2000 for the whole year that we haven't used! It's a bit crazy. But like all colleges, they like money they try to squeeze out as much as they can. I don't even know if I can go study abroad to Japan for junior year. UUGGGH I cried for the past two days now I wanna cry more!! What a horrible week. -smashes head into wall-

Oh I hate you.

This morning I thought was just a regular morning. Woke up tried to brush my teeth but I heard my phone, and it was my Dad calling. Recently I hated calls from my parents I DREAD them. He called to ask if I have any finals today and what time is my last one tomorrow because I get to go home for SUMMER BREAK. Well now lately my parents are questioning my college education ness. He's like WHY ARE YOU TAKING ART FOR YOU DON"T NEED IT. Well.. I need it for Baccore, and it fills up my Literature and Arts requirement. After the call he made me fell so worthless and like he's disappointed in me. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out right now because I don't know what to do anymore!
All of this stress is getting to me and that call just topped it off. I dont' know what o do with ny life anymore. I feel like I let down my parents. I really think they just want me to kill myself really. Because I can't really handle this anymore. Trying to figure out what major/career I want, Finals, and parents shit all in one ball. THEY just don't understand! I know what I need to take and yet they question me. I understand that they question how I study becaues I said I didn't know how I did on the chemistry. Just to be honest, I think I'm not good at the sciences. Or mainly because I dont' study it correctly. Or barely study for it at all. Oh god I'm so upset right now. I'm fucking crying at 10:30 in the morning. I don't need this in the morning. I try to give it my best, but my best is not good for them. I just wish something came along to make me feel better and make it obvious what career I should go into. I mean OBVIOUS like flashing lights and an arrow saying HEY KIM YOU NEED TO DO THIS SHIT.
As of right now I feel like being a Dermatologist. With my science grade right now, I don't know if I can study hard enough to make it. It appeals to me because I've had skin problems, my brother, and friends have skin problems. And I want to do something that'll make their skin healthier. Because I'm always about making people having good skin. And stuff and I want to do that for them. I'm really interested in being a Cosmetic Dermatologist. That's my goal if I go that route. But again I don't know, stratch that, I dont' THINK I'll study hard enough to make it. If I don't then my parnets will be like wtf did you do. wtf are you going to do now??
then the other options are still artsy, but I know that won't provide much money, but I think I will enjoy it very much. But I'm gonna stop I give up.
I'm useless,worthless, and a disappointment of a daughter. I can't study proficient enough, and my grades are ok. I'm gonna give up hope right now.
Well of to study or TRY to study with all this emotional stress going on with me. -sigh- I think I'm gonna go cry more.

Annoying as hell. [rant]

Oh joys of studying. :) Oh wait, what is this? International students being loud a fuck 1:30 in the morning? I have nothing against international students I think they're fantastic. But there is something wrong with this new batch this term. They are LOUD. Conversing and screaming outside the dorm. Trying to sound like Lil John screaming "What?" "Okay".
Mind you my window is closed. It usually blocks out sound really well. I"m also on the 5th floor, so I'm pretty sure the rest of the floors can hear these bitches scream, or they're already asleep and can't hear the douche baggery that's going on. But not in this case where these guys are rowdy as FUCK, and needs to be beaten in the face. I know not all of the students are doing this, but it's just this particular group that just decided to be douche bags. I don't know why they are doing it, they need to stop. I'm really disappointed with the leader people of the dorm, they can't hear this shit? Really.

I'm also to the point where I'm thinking up murderous things, like punching their lights out then ripe their vocal chords out so they can never scream and being annoying as fuck ever again. But will never put them into action. Even better yet they start getting into an argument where they beat each OTHER up. :)

It's interesting you would think that everywhere in the world is the same. Where once it's late at night you would SHUT THE HELL UP and keep quiet for people are sleeping or in my case studying. I have the feeling that they own the shit.



AERWEIJS:LDfkja;lerkja;lsdfkja;slekjtr mother fucking douche bags

Getting owned by jeans......

-sigh- I'm so lucky... Oh so lucky......... This is the 2nd time this has occurred.... My jeans getting ripped. Luckily I was in my room when it ripped. Mind you 2nd time it has been ripped in the inner thigh. WHICH means I'm fat. WHICH MEANS! My thighs rubs together to make friction. I mean I'm chubby... -__-;; But never before I had my jeans rip..

Lucky week for me..
-Getting a cold... Apparently from seasonal changes.
-One of my favorite pairs of skinny jeans. Ripped.
-Feeling of uselessness
-Feeling stress
-Chem Exam.


-sigh- Well time to do homework that I was gonna save to do on the weekend. :/ Going to try and do as much as I can because when I'm at home, I tend to not do homework and just play~ Fucking sucks.

Ugh, shouldn't have eaten that.

Have you had that feeling/moment where you feel what your body is feeling? Where you have eaten something that you haven't eaten in a long time, and you decide to eat it? Well, I'm feeling that.

I had two slices of pizza, and a small macaroni for dinner around......5:30? Now I feel like crap and bloated. Ugh. After eating that I feel guilty. I've been eating healthy, treating myself to things now and then. But shouldn't have had that pizza.

Living on campus, the food can get REALLY boring. And during my 2nd term here I started to hate the food. I eat the same things everyday. Salad, Soup, Sandwich. . . Everyday. At my dining center there is the Deli, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, BBQ(it just opened, and it's really good. I get meat cravings and that's where I would go straight too XD), and hamburgers. THAT'S ALL. And some of the restaurants aren't really health friendly when eating it every week.
It's alright if you like get a burrito, or a hamburger every now and then. Ugh. I had college food.

Next year I'm going to live in the same dorm building with a good friend of mine, and it's going to be awesome. But there are somethings that I wished that we got an apartment, #1 reason is. *drum roll* KITCHEN! No need to eat campus crap food! We can cook for ourselves. But my dorm building has a kitchen on the main floor, but we have to buy our own pots and pants and stuff and we can't really keep it in the kitchen area. And mind you this year we had the kitchen closed down several times because the people who do use the kitchen can't keep it clean.

-sigh- I'm gonna go mope around because I ate pizza. eeeeeek >_< My body doesn't feel so good. @__@;;

heartofpearl: giveaway

http://heartofpearl.blogspot.com/2010/04/thank-you-giveaway.html


Those who happen to stumble across my blog. Heartofpearl, link to her blog above, is doing a giveaway for (almost) reaching 500 followers!! Yay! :)