A complete failure. (long post)

Have you ever knew what you wanted to be when you were younger? But has it changed a few (hundred) times as you grew up? Well, I know how you feel.

I remember when I was asked for the first time, "What do you want to be when you grow up?". At that time I had know clue what I wanted to be, so I just said "A teacher." Then in 4th grade, we were asked the same question. We did a class project, it was a quilt mural, and each of our murals was what career we wanted in the the future. Everyone had a different square, someone wanted to be a doctor, a computer programmer, a vet, etc. Mine was, a fashion designer.

Then in the beginning of 6th grade I was contemplating what I wanted to do. So I had stuck with, Graphic Designer for a bit until 9th grade. I changed it to a Video Game Designer, or a Video Game Concept Artist. And I stuck with the idea of going into the video game industry for a long time. And I thought that it was set in stone.

On to Junior year, now I have to find out what college I wanted to go to, and decide what major I wanted that would lead to my career path. This was my, "Oh shit." moment. Because now I could no longer imagine and dream my future career. Now I had to CHOOSE it. I started to look up various career path. I still considered of going into the video game industry. But then I had to get the talk with my dad, and wow, was that stressful. I thought up of a lot of careers that I thought were interesting, but I just had something else on my mind. Would it financially support me? Would I enjoy it? I ask myself every question there was. And I still had no solid plan.

I thought of Physician, Pastry Chef, Cosmetic Surgeon, Photographer, Translator, Musician, Video Game Designer, Physician's Assistant, etc. Well then I thought, "Well, I'm screwed." Then eventually I chose Physician's Assistant, because they're sort of like doctors, less time in school compared to a regular Physician, and I can support myself. I thought that was set in stone as well. Then along came first term of college......I knew I wanted to change my majors, but NOW I have no clue what now.

Since finishing my first term of college, let's say that I'm not doing so hot, so far I got a C, and a D+. . WTF. Now I'm all depressed and all now. I'm just lost with myself. I always wished and hope that something would give me an obvious hint of what I should do with my life. And I always hoped that it would be my an answer. Never got it yet. I don't know what I want to do with myself. Now being depressed from learning that 2 out 4 of my classes that I'm not doing great. I'm just a lost soul not know what to do with herself. Now I have to hear this shit from my dad. I tried my hardest no lie. I just can't find my niche in life.

I'm just so lost...I might cry myself to sleep tonight.

I have several passions in my life. But those passions would turn into possible careers in the future...Until the passion dies down, and I pick up a new one.. What is wrong with me. I know that a lot of college students are the same like me, not know what to do with themselves. Some are jumping around majors, some in community college, some are undeclared majors... Now I'm just trying to find something that I'm happy with and that will support me financially in the future. But that's just asking too much... shit... Well I'm a complete failure.

Oh my goodness..

I'm in my second week of college. And I have to say, it's alright. The first week was alright, mainly getting use to everything and where all the buildings are.

The poopie thing was, when I had to say good-bye to my parents. I was trying so hard not to cry. My mom said "I don't want to look at you when we leave." that alone made me tear up. But then they went away, and into my college experience. First couple of days I was really homesick. But I talk to my parents everyday, because they tell me to call them everyday. ~_____~

Went home on the weekend. It was so stressful just to go home on the weekend. I had to lug my big ass duffel bag of dirty clothes to my friend's sisters apartment, so she could drive us home. But their family wanted to eat dinner like 30-40 minutes away from their house. So I had to get my brother to pick me up at the restaurant. Ugh, it was horrible. My arms were so sore the next day from carrying my duffel bag.

The best thing I got home was, being HOME! I got the best greeting from my dog. And I hugged the floor of the house. It felt so good to be home!! And I didn't have fish sauce in my diet for 6 days. It felt really nice. But I know that I won't be able to go home EVERY weekend. It'd be nice, but there will be some times where I need to study for up coming tests.

So far college classes aren't so bad. I really love my chemistry class though, the teacher is so happy and awake in the morning. And he makes us laugh, it keeps me awake. XD

Ahhh....college... I like you now, but I know I'll hate you later.. :)

Moved in!!

I officially moved in.

It was tough getting it. Since there was a football game going on. A lot of supporters, everybody was wearing some form of black or orange. I felt left out. I'll probably buy some school gear later.

My parents were really serious, and repeating things that they told me before. They're just worried. While moving my things in my parents were getting on my nerves a bit. But when they left, I almost cried. :[ I'm a bit homesick but that's just the norm, wait until school starts then I wouldn't even think about it. Studying left to right. It's going to be so weird adjusting to college life. 1 hour of class = 2 hours of study. Daaammmn. It's going to be interetsing from here on out!

Danng! It gets cold in dorm rooms haha. I closed my window but it seems like it's still open. I'm gonna go on an adventure on campus tomorrow. Going to go to look for my classes. :\ Don't want to be lost on monday. That won't be good. AND I have to wake up around 6!!

How fun!! D:

Ack no!

Oh my. .

Going to start college soon. . Getting really nervous. I'm officially going to move down there tomorrow. I'm somewhat moved in, I'm just gonna move the rest of my things down there. And it seems like a lot of stuff... 1 big fat bag of clothes, 3 bags of little things, cleaning, bathroom things, food, girl things.

It's going to be so different for me and at home. I'm quite excited since I'm going to be in a new place, by myself, and I get to experience more than when I was at home. I didn't get to do much at home. Even though I'm gonna be myself, I still have to responsible, I'm not going to go crazy like some people do. College is supposed to be parties, crazy stuff. And I'm positive that I'm not going to do that, paying way too much money to be stupid. Of course of I'm going to allow myself just to see what everything is about, but I'm not going to be stupid and drink and smoke. That's just lame.

And of course my parents are going crazy. I'm the last child and the only girl to go to college. And they are being over protective. I understand, but they tell me the things that I already know. -_______-; It's getting bit annoying. Even with the little things. "Don't forget the umbrella, because we're not gonna drive down there to give it to you.", things like that. AND the big one, "Do not go anywhere with anyone. Don't do anything with anyone. . .~" Things like that. That quote was from my dad. He's the most paranoid.. He expects me to have no social life, just eat, sleep, and study. But he damn well knows that I'm not going to do that.

Of course every freshmen college dorm living student is going to be homesick. . I know I will. But college experience away from the parents is going to be worth it. Everybody recommends to live in a dorm for the first year. It's just something that you have to do when you get there. .

I'm worried about the food. When I was there for orientation for 2 days, I was sick of the food already. :| It's gonna be tough, haha. I'm going to have no fish sauce in my diet. < / 3

Introduction

Hello!!

This is my first blog entry. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Kimberly (or Kim). I'm 18. I'm a freshmen in college, and close to starting school. I live and study in the northwest. So it rains a lot here.
I love foreign languages, music, traveling, food, and etc.
I can speak Vietnamese, and I'm studying Japanese, and I want to learn more languages in the future.
I don't know what kind of blog I want, but this might be a blog about my experiences in college and other random things.

Please excuse my writing, and any grammar issues. I'll probably won't get a lot of readers or attract much interest. But for those who are interested and reading. I would like to say I hope to get to know you all.
:]